What’s that sticking out of the side of my belly? A small reptilian tail? That’s odd. Very odd. I pull on it and hope it doesn’t break off, leaving the rest of the critter inside of me. Slowly, with all the oozing pus comes a four inch long lizard… still alive. I flush the sucker down the toilet and examine the wound for eggs. It’s clean. Thank God. I wonder how long that bastard was lodged in there? I wash out the wound with hydrogen peroxide. It bubbles and foams ferociously. That’s all the bacteria burning off. Pretty fucking gross. I had a lizard burrowing into my gut. …But why?